In Western Australia we have so far been remarkably successful in flattening the curve and preventing the community spread of COVID-19. Yet life is not back to normal and we retain the uncertainty about when we might get back some of the aspects of ‘normal life’ that we miss.
Child psychologist and researcher at The Kids, Dr Monique Robinson explains that the only way out is through, and while we hope to regain as much of what we have lost as possible, the world is going to look different on the other side.
Here’s Dr Robinson’s tips for families on coming out of COVID-19 successfully.
1. Aim to be as consistent as you can
When we were all isolating at home and legally only permitted to be around one other person, at a social distance, the rules were pretty easy to explain to kids and to follow. As we gradually ease back on the restrictions, it might feel like we drift into grey area. Are play dates okay? If I can gather with up to 10 people, why can’t I play in my soccer league? If I don’t have to keep socially distant at school, why do I have to at the shops?
So can you organise a play date now? Although legally we can gather in groups up to 10 for indoor and outdoor gatherings, we are still required to maintain social distance and encouraged to stay home. If you have older children you may be able to trust them to gather and maintain distance, but younger children are more difficult, perhaps impossible, to keep separate, especially when they are excited to see each other again.
It’s always best with children to keep the rules clear. Explain that school is allowed because education is important and schools are being regularly cleaned and are managing any risk as best they can.
We are waiting for an update regarding the resumption of junior sport but as with anything, it may not look the way it used to. Keep consistently following the guidelines and keep up to date. The State government has clear and up to date information to help you understand what is and isn’t permitted as we evolve out of the COVID-19 crisis in WA, visit wa.gov.au regularly to keep up to date.
2. What would you like to take from COVID-19?
Yes COVID-19 has changed our world and brought a lot of stress and heartache with it. But if you look at your own personal situation, are there things as a parent that you’ve learned about yourself and your kids having time at home together? Many parents are talking about the change of pace and how not having to rush or be as busy has helped everybody relax. Children may have thrived having more time with parents and sibling relationships may have grown through the lack of peer distraction. Happy memories may have been created as kids went camping in the backyard, drew rainbows on the pavement and laughed at friends over zoom. Family bike rides and walks replaced organised sport. Talking to your neighbours and getting to know your local small businesses.
We can continue to promote the values that make us better citizens and kinder people- looking after one another, caring for the vulnerable, learning to be calm, enjoying the natural environment, sharing, thoughtfulness, togetherness, generosity, belonging.
That’s not to sugar-coat the financial pain and worry that many families are now experiencing. But while it is fresh in your mind, make a note of any things as a parent that you have found positive about staying home during COVID-19 and look at ways that you may be able to bring those aspects into life going forward as restrictions gradually ease.
Equally, your family may have learned about processes and dynamics in the family that don’t work so well. We can learn from these too. Did the increase in screen time make your child more detached or distracted? Are there family relationships that need more effort or professional help? Having home schooled your child do you have any new information on how they learn or areas to spend more time on?
We’ve all done the best we can to keep our families afloat financially and emotionally during this time, but whether good or bad the lessons we have learned can help us create a happier family life going forward.
3. Keep the positive hygiene habits
Through all of this we’ve learned some pretty interesting things about germs and how they spread. Will we ever shake hands again or casually pick out a shopping trolley without immediately reaching for hand sanitiser?
We don’t want to focus our kids attention too obsessively towards germs but the hygiene habits we’ve developed in COVID-19 can certainly stay. Washing hands regularly, with soap, and for 20 seconds. Coughing into our elbow. Staying home from work and school if we feel unwell. There are many aspects of the current situation that might assist kids going forward to lose the unflattering “super-spreader” tag in terms of colds and other bugs- which is great for all of us.
4. Respect others and their feelings
Not everyone is going to feel comfortable leaping back into normal life as restrictions ease and that’s okay. It’s not helpful to personally judge anyone for their personal assessment of the current level of risk. We are all required to comply with the laws and restrictions of course, but within that if some families make an assessment of their own level of risk that means they stay home for longer or do not immediately participate in activities they used to, they are able to make that choice.
5. Celebrate the success of WA
We wanted our kids to learn positive hygiene habits to stop the spread and we did manage thus far to stop the spread in WA. Remind them of all the things they had to give up in COVID-19 and tell them that the result of that was we did get the number of cases to very low levels and we did avoid widespread community transmission. We’re not done yet and we still care deeply for our counterparts interstate and overseas, but in the small world that surrounds our children here in WA we can point out our lifestyle change has thus far done what we hoped it would. It’s incentive to keep following the advice and try to maintain this for as long as it takes now.
6. It’s time to observe your child’s behaviour
From the beginning we worried about the effect that COVID-19 might have on our child’s mental health, particularly those children that were already more anxious or withdrawn in nature. We have also noted that there were a number of losses to cope with- from peer and extended family relationships to daily school or extra-curricular activities. Now is the time to assess whether your child’s behaviour has changed and if you have any concerns that might need following up.
The sorts of behaviour we might be concerned about includes:
- Trouble sleeping or excessive fatigue
- Loss of appetite or sudden over-eating
- Excessive worry, teariness, clingy behaviour
- Sore tummy or other physical symptoms
- Difficulty concentrating, irritability
- Social withdrawal, avoidance of peers
- Sadness, loss of interest or joy
- Feelings of being unworthy or guilty
- Loss of energy
Any behaviour change, unusual behaviour or obsessive/repetitive behaviour could present an opportunity to talk openly with your child about it and gather any information you can on how they are feeling as the world around us keeps evolving with the virus. Ask open-ended questions. Spend time together to encourage communication and give you a chance to observe the behaviour.
If you believe your child (or yourself) to be overwhelmed by the coronavirus situation, seek help from your GP as a first step. Kee an eye out for others in the community who you feel may be struggling and provide whatever support you can while we remain under the COVID-19 restrictions.
As mentioned before, concerns regarding our health, our loved ones and our financial security are all major concerns. It’s important that despite our fears we do remain calm and have open communication with our families, friends, employers and others who can help us navigate through. For those who are struggling to cope, please seek advice from your GP as soon as you can.